Globalisation

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is posted by an Indian, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.
That, my friends, is Globalization!!

An MBA and a Engineering student

A MBA and a Engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fell asleep.

Some hours later, the Engineer wakes his MBA friend. "
Look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

The MBA ponders for a minute.

" Astronomically speaking, it tells me that
there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately
a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have
a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"

The Engineering student is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

The Sad Story

Three friends were working in a same office & lived in a same flat which is in the 110th floor in New York City.

One day while they were returning from their office the lift was not working. So they decided to climb by foot to their 110th floor.

To pass the time & not get bored they agreed to tell some story, that 1st person should tell a story about a war, 2nd person a romance & 3rd person a very sad story.

First person told about US & Vietnam War they reached 50th floor, Second person completed his romance story when they reached 109th floor.

Now it's turn for the third person to tell a very sad story. He told "I forgot to bring the Flat Key".

Computer love letter

Dear 192.168.0.4,

The day I first saw you, I was hit by the 'Love Bug'. Thoughts of you load into my memory like a 'boot sector virus'. This not only occupies most of my memory space but has changed my 'CMOS Date/Time Settings', I mean, since then I can’t sleep at nights and remain in 'Suspended Mode' during the day time. Vital 'threads' like hunger and presence of mind are 'not responding'. It has infected my system so much that every file (person) I see ,contains your Header (face).

Many a times I tried to ping (ring) you but got a 'request timed out'. There seems to be a firewall around you which makes my confidence perform an 'Illegal Operation', my voice gives a 'Device Not Ready' signal. I know that my 486 type financial level cannot match your 2.5 GHz status; but when I think of loosing you, my vision turns 'Blue' with error codes not even our creator understands.

So this is the 'Hard-copy' of my 'Feelings.sys' since I can’t find a 'sound driver' compatible to your platform. I hope that your do not 'return 0' to my request and provide me the 'Password' to your heart.

I hope that our relationship 'compiles and links' successfully so that we can Execute our lives at the same 'Base Address'.

Ever yours,
127.0.0.1
(local host)